Have you ever seen some scenery, on a movie, or in a picture or in real life, or even on something completely fake, like a cartoon, and had the thought, " wow, thats beautiful. i wish i could just kick back there and rest for the rest of my days." i have... all the time. its a wonderful fantasy in which you dont know what goes on, because you just float on looking at the scenes before you taking in the beauty, whenever you get bored it changes. this is the realm that i dwell in, with the motto for real life situations being, " itll all work out" or im trying to make it that anyway... floating requires no mindset, you just have to relax, its really hard to do actually. Mainly because life keeps on gettin in the way, for instance, those people who got depressed about not living in the avatar world "pandora" they have the same feeling i do, except life got in the way and stole their dream. While i realize my dreams are founded upon nothing and can never be actualized, its nice just to dream.
Have you ever tryed to describe something so pure and wonderful that words are useless? such as love, nature, an emotion, or existing? it never seems to come out right, sure living is breathing, eating and drinking, but what is truly LIVING or EXISTING? What do you plan on doing with the little time you have here on earth? Roiling in self pity over a lost love or a drama that has no actual purpose is pointless. Emo kids and cutters, while im sure have had something bad happen to them i find have lost the meaning of living. that goes for suicidal kids too. You may think me heartless, but in all reality, they have so little time here that worrying about such events is useless and a waste of time. My emphasis in this paragraph is to get out and decide what LIVING really IS.
right, back to my life....
ive discovered a strange fear of mine, or more like an anxiety feeling
everytime, im home, and the house is quiet i just get this feeling somethings not right..
perhaps its a remnant of seeing paranormal activities, or maybe im just getting lonely at home
but i like having a ruckous going on, people living it up around me makes me more content, and its only when the sun goes down, perhaps its the dark? whatever it is, its not super overbearing but its troublesome, i live on, wishing i had either a nice normal life? (is there such thing?) or a world of my own creation to live in and just mindlessly float on.
this was Matt, signing out.
You need to get a hamster to keep you entertained at night. OK, a cat would do to.
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